So, my mom is in the hospital again. My parent's are officially getting divorced, well, as soon as the marshall can find my dad to serve him the papers. I guess my mom found out that not only was he fooling around with someone else, he signed up for match.com. I'd say he's checked out of the marraige. She finally made the decision, and I'm proud of her, but I wish it wasn't so phsyically taxing on her. So far it doesn't look like it's another heart attack, maybe just a bad anxiety attack from being so upset, but still. I'm worried about her. She's never gone through A breakup at all let alone a 42 year relationship breakup.
I don't know if it's because I saw first hand how awful a marraige can be and how trapped you can get in it when your feelings get so strong and overpowering that I've been so picky and waited so long in finding someone of my own. I am so scared of ending up with someone that I'd fall out of love with or who would end up treating me like crap. I want this person to be perfect. In doing so, though, I'm scared I've built up my image of this person to something nobody could measure up to. Although, in the end, I think I'd rather be alone, forever, than be with someone who treated me the way my dad has treated my mom.
I just hope that there's some peace ahead. For me, for her, for everyone in my family. I don't know how much more stress I can take. I noticed a cold sore coming on yesterday, I'm sure from stress. Ironically, I've been getting them since I was 11 or 12, probably from sharing a glass and not from being promiscuous like so many people insinuate when they see people with them. And it only adds to me feeling horrible and disgusting on top of feeling sad and worried for my mom. At least it's Friday and I can avoid everyone for 2 days.
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2 comments:
Actually chronic cold sores are often inherited from parents. My friend gets them a lot and it runs in her family. Anyways, sorry to hear about your mom. I hope she recovers. Hopefully things will turn around for you.
I hope there's peace ahead for everybody over in your part of the world, as well.
It's brave what your mom's doing -- because it can be hard to let go of something even if it wasn't great....just because it was familiar, you know? You get comfortable with it.
Don't stress about the cold sore. Do what I do: just pile makeup on top of it even if you're supposed to really let it breathe and fade away on its own.
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