Feeling the stress

I wish that I was inspired to write when things go right in my life, but of course, that's never the case.

My acne decided to clear up just before I had to take some time off from work to take care of a medical issue that I've been struggling with for years. I had to have surgery and was home for about two weeks recovering over the Christmas/New Years holidays. I knew it would be a hard recovery, but it was even worse than I thought. Thankfully, I'm on the mend now and things should only improve from here on out.

My mom ended up staying with me to help, which was very nice of her, but it did end up being kind of awkward. She talked to my dad at least once if not twice a day, which made me a little uncomfortable. Then the weekend she left me, she emailed me saying she let him move back in the house.

Upon hearing this news, my sister for some reason decided she couldn't handle talking to my mom right now, so at the moment, they are not in contact. I know this upsets my mom, but I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to my sister, but she won't tell me what's going on. My mom asks me and I can't even explain it, but maybe it's better if I don't know anything that way I'm not dragged into it.

This weekend, my sister, my brother and I all met up to exchange Christmas gifts for the kids since none of us spent the holiday together (my dad went to my brother's, I was incapacitated with my mom, and my sister spent it alone). It was so awkward. For the second year in a row, my sister ended up sitting next to my sister-in-law and let's just say they do not get along. Well, my sister I think makes an effort, it's my sister-in-law who is weird. She's hard to explain. Even I have felt a strain in our relationship over the years. She definitely has changed since my brother started making more money and she has very strong beliefs in things relating to health and parenting, which I know gets in the way of her and my sister's relationship. She also doesn't get along great with my mother and I've heard her vent about her and when you hear someone talk bad about your mom, it's just a hard thing to forget.

So needless to say, the acne is back along with a lovely cold sore. Luckily, my doctor prescribed me something for it and it's actually made some difference; it's still there, but I think it should go away quicker than normal.

I know when my body starts reacting to stress that it's really getting to me. Usually, I feel like I handle it pretty well, and by well, I mean internalizing it and suppressing it, ya know, the healthy way to deal with it. It's just become so difficult. I feel like my entire family is falling apart and without a family of my own to fall into, I feel like I'm falling apart.