Impetus? Isn't that a skin rash?

So why oh why did I start this blog? I'm asking myself the same question as I type. I started to think about writing after reading QV's and ecrivain's because so much of what they were saying was what I was feeling too. Also, I feel like if I don't write I just might explode or implode, either way, not a pretty end. I have so much to say, to explain where I am right now, and I guess that it just comes with time and anecdotes that everything ties together and makes sense, and so I guess I just have to be patient. In the words of Inigo Montoya "I hate waiting." But, so be it.

Today was hard. For beginners, I'm sick. Not sure if it's a cold or the flu, but in any case, I feel like shit. I felt like shit, I should say, I am actually starting to feel better today, but Friday and Saturday were miserable. On top of that, I decided to rent some movies to watch while I nursed myself back to health. One was "Once," which at first I was disappointed in because of the ending, but after a while, I am now obsessed with it, especially the soundtrack. They're actually up for an Oscar tonight, so I hope they win. The other was "The Jane Austen Book Club." Inevitably, like most movies these days, unless they're a horror film or comedy, they mostly just make me cry. Any hint at other people being happy and in love is unbearable for me to watch. More on that to come later.

Then I call my mom to find out how babysitting my niece and nephew went, and she's completely upset with my father (again, another story) about not making sure my sister's dogs did not shit all over the house, which she's watching while my sister's new house is being renovated while she's living in temporary housing with her husband, 2 year old, meanwhile being 7 months pregnant (another story). She's also pissed at my brother and his wife because since my sister moved into the state, they have not once asked them to come visit, offer to babysit, or help with the new house. Hearing her so upset upsets me so much, especially being so far away from her.

Then I get texts from two of my friends A from home and A from college about not hearing from me in a while. A from home doesn't really know whats going on with me and my college friends. I haven't told her because, well, she's married with a kid, and I feel like she doesn't need to hear this. I don't know what to do about my college friends. I told A from college I would email her tomorrow, I still don't know what I will write. Ugh. At least the finale to "Pride and Prejudice" is on tonight. I know, I am so masochistic, what the hell is wrong with me?!