Okay, so I went to the meetup tonight and I ended up seeing people I knew, so that was good. Although, this one guy was hitting on me, very badly I might add, and he was about two inches shorter than me to boot. He started asking me if I liked reading or watching movies and how many brothers and sisters I had, just really obvious questions that I couldn't deal with, so I left and went to see the band.
Well, since this kid was a mutual friend of T and mine, I knew T might be there and sure enough, he was. So it was kind of awkward at first, but I thought it went okay for a while. So, the kid in the band, glasses boy I'll call him, had his friends and roommates there too, including his one roommate, I'll call him big kid, for obvious reasons. This guy was nice, but big, and just not my style, but he was fun and he liked to dance, so we danced. I don't know why this gave everyone the impression that I liked him, but apparently it did. Can't a girl just dance because she feels like dancing?!
So, I'll admit it, I hit a low point. I know, please don't judge me!!!! I offered T a ride home so he wouldn't have to take a cab or miss the train. You know what that means right? Well, I said I would drive home some other people too, so it didn't seem obvious that I really meant that I would drive T home and that if he so happened to want to invite me to stay over, so be it. I know, I know, I have no self control. WELL, doesn't it end up being just big kid and T and doesn't T take it upon himself to direct me to his house FIRST (I had no idea where I was going) so that I am left in the car alone with big kid having to take him home alone. Awesome.
So big kid says something along the lines of "there was a reason he made you drop him off first" and here I'm thinking it's that T doesn't want to be left alone with me or that he can't stand me...I'm preparing myself for the worst here. No, big kid tells me it's so that he would get a chance with me! I was fucking bullshit. Like I would EVER go for big kid.
Please! Is T so obtuse and am I that fucking opaque that he couldn't see the way I was looking at him or that I was dancing that way with big kid for his benefit?! Why are guys so dumb?!
So then I had to make up a lie and tell big kid that I wasn't seeing anyone, let alone him, no offense, but I also mentioned that T was the last guy I went on a date with and that was two years ago...I hope guys talk like girls and tell each other things. I don't know why I'd want to give T the impression that he's the reason I haven't dated much in two years, cuz really that's kind of pathethic. Anyways, I am so mad and upset right now, and maybe a little tipsy, and maybe a little mad at myself for thinking that maybe I would go home with him and maybe it would be a good thing or at least that I would be okay with it because who are we kidding here, that would prolly fuck me up more than anything right now.
Shit. And I gave the annoying guy at the first bar my email address to update me on future meetups but if he emails me and asks me out or does anything else creepy I swear I'm going to lose it. What the hell? I'm going to bed, I can't even think straight right now, but I knew if I didn't type this now I wouldn't be able to capture in words later exactly how I'm feeling. UGH! slasldfkjlasjdfldsjalsl!
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5 comments:
out of curiosity, why does it seem that whenever a guy expresses interest in a girl who doesn't like him, he is considered "creepy"? I'd say that's the #1 reason I don't ask girls out. what's the sense in trying if you're only going to end up being labeled a creep?
I can see where it would seem like his interest is what made me think he was creepy. Let me clarify...I didn't mention that the last time I met with this group he was also there and spent the whole time standing on the side staring at me while I was dancing. Yeah, it's fun to watch people dance, but it's not cool to stare at one girl and make her feel uncomfortable.
Sorry, I didn't mean that an interested guy automatically gets labeled a creep, on the contrary, I wish more people would express interest in me.
First of all, I read your post from last night -- and I want to say, "Good for you." I'm glad you kept your plans and didn't offer to drive K home. Seriously, I've had that happen to me before and I just fucking resent it when people feel like they can take advantage of me because I'm single.
As for the meetup from last night, I know what it's like -- I think that you're more relaxed and easy-going around the guys you DON'T like and that's what make them think they have the go-ahead.
And yes, T is that obtuse. I find people read too much into everything -- whether you smile at someone of the opposite sex or joke around with them, it's suddenly, "Oh, she must be interested."
And I get what you meant by creepy. It's not so much that every single guy who expresses interest (but who isn't attractive to us) is labelled a "creep." Usually it's something that they do...like when they're overeager and stare at you intensely and say dumb things that make you feel like he'd go stalker on your ass if given the slightest sign of encouragement.
How come you miss the positives here - u got hit on! Kid liked you enough to make a move also ---- but no all that was just a nuance to you.
I'm not saying fall in love with these guys but you could have turned em down nicely and took note that someone does find you attractive; they may not have their shit together but they had the courage to go for what they wanted: YOU.
they dont have to get it, and you dont have to like them. But you could have indulge in light flirting with the guy to hone your own skills. Its also fine to reject them but don't then insult them for liking you.
The 'creep' just lacked confidence and experience.
Incidentally how do you figure this dating things works like for guys?
I don't know why this is, and maybe this is just me and nobody else, but the few times in my life where a guy has shown interest in me where the feeling is not mutual, I just can't seem to get any satisfaction from it. Maybe it's from being turned down by every single guy I've ever been interested in is what makes me not care when it's someone I'm not interested in, they're not the ones that count.
And I'm pretty satisfied with my flirting skills as they are and I think flirting with a guy who I'm not particularly interested in is kind of cruel. Why give false hope? When people do that to me, I just like them more, then fall harder when I realize it wasn't genuine.
And also realize that I did write that I was tipsy when I wrote this and just blown off by the guy I was interested in, which probably accounted for my harsh judgement.
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