Birthday blues

So, today is my 29th birthday and it's just as depressing as every other year has been in my life, but possibly more so, since this year will mark the year that every one of my close friends (except one who lives far far away) will be either engaged or married and I, I will still not even had anything close to a real relationship.

I tried to keep my birthday quiet, but the stupid admin assistant at work had it on a piece of paper by the copy machine. So all day I got "happy birthday"'s and had to fake a smile and say "thanks!" when really every time I heard it I just wanted to crawl under my desk and cry.

I went out for drinks after work with some coworkers, not to celebrate, but because there was a big meeting today about my department's "re-organization" and we wanted to let off some steam. Someone mentioned that it was my birthday, and I tried to explain how I hate my birthday and wish I could avoid it altogether. I don't get how people are so oblivious as to why someone who is almost 30 and single might be unhappy on their birthday. Hello? I don't have anyone to go home to, nobody to take me out, etc. I'm only reminded that another whole year has passed and not one person has even seriously soberly looked slightly in my direction with any interest. I have not met one person who I have found attractive. There has not been one event that would lead me to think that this year will be better than the next.

So no. Please stop. Don't wish me a happy birthday. Don't hope that I "have a GREAT day!", please, mourn with/for me. It will be another miserable year, only topped off by the fact that at the end I will be 30 and more miserable than I am today.

So good night. I will now resume to my birthday tradition of drinking and crying until I pass out.