I've fallen and I...hello? hello?

Saturday morning I woke up at 6:30 to go to the bathroom. I tried not to wake myself up too much so that I could go right back to sleep really quickly. I'm not sure if it was because I was still half-asleep or if I tripped on something with my eyes only half open, but I fell. Hard.

I only remember walking through my kitchen and the next thing I know I'm lying on the floor in front of my bathroom shaking. On the way down, I hit my elbow, my shoulder, my back, and I'm pretty sure I hit my head most likely on closet doors and doorknobs. I knocked into my closet door that my ironing board hangs on and it made a pretty loud metallic clank.The first thing I did was turn on the light and made sure I wasn't bleeding anywhere. Thankfully, I just have some nice big bruises and a lasting headache.

At first I thought, oh crap, I must've woken up my neighbors for sure. But then I remembered that the guy below me had moved out last weekend. And the asshole who lives next to me probably couldn't give a shit anyways.

Nothing hurt so much that I cried, but I did end up crying because really, what if I had cracked my skull open, or had a concussion. All day Saturday nobody called me. I did an experiment and didn't go on FB or instant messenger. I could've been dead lying on my floor for probably 24-48 hours before someone realized I was dead. Is that weird that I think that?

I know it's not just that I'm single, I also live alone, so I guess for anyone that lives alone, you really run the chance of having something happen to you and nobody knowing about it, especially if it's on the weekend. It just makes me sad.

I've been pretty bummed all week since the wedding and this just topped it off. I'm just getting really sick of everything. I hate that I can't have anything I want-a relationship, a home, a dog, a normal family. That Smiths song keeps running through my head. He's right, it really could drive you mad.

That Morrissey was a smart one. He once said, "I do think it's possible to go through life and never fall in love, or find someone who loves you." I believe it too, as much as I don't want to.