So I'm sitting around watching tv until I have to go to work and who shows up at my apt unannounced? D. Seriously, what's with people just stopping by? D, otherwise known as Miss Oblivious or Miss Self-Involved, was my roommate in college my senior year (one of seven-crazy). She has always been completely self-involved and never one to know what is going on in anybody else's life. She's really not a great friend that way, but somehow, she is a lot of fun to be around, when she's not with her fat, alcoholic, abusive, red-neck boyfriend. She said she wanted to go grab a beer, because she "really needed it." I told her I had to work and couldn't. Even if I didn't have to work, I probably would have lied. Of course, she was completely oblivious. I mean, I haven't seen or talked to her since Oct. 5th, to be exact, and she has no clue what's been going on with me? Does she not talk to anyone? It totally threw me off and I noticed that when she left I was literally shaking. I do not know what is wrong with me. I should be happy to see these people, my friends, but I have no desire to see them or talk to them, ever. I feel like we'll never go back to the way things were. It's just not possible. I think I need to find a therapist. Honestly, it's not right to feel miserable, jealous, and resentful when you're around happy people. Right?
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2 comments:
Well...the thing is, your friend doesn't really act like a friend -- maybe that's why you were angry. I mean, there are just some people who are just a total, emotional drain. Trust me, I know. I have several "friends" like that -- emotional vampires who use you instead of going to therapists, themselves.
So, technically, it's not like you're being resentful for absolutely no reason. You're justified in your anger. (As far as I'm concerned.)
But ditto on need to find a therapist...though, I actually have to admit to wanting to see a therapist.
Weird, I guess it does sound like I was angry, but actually I wasn't angry at all. I'm not sure why I was shaking, I think I was more upset than angry. Upset because I feel so disconnected with everyone, because I wasn't expecting to see her, so I was kind of unprepared, just upset in general. I'm feeling a lot of that lately.
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