I have no answers

T actually emailed me back this morning, shocker. He was really nice and mentioned that he and a coworker went to this pub near where we both work that I had told him about. I thought he was being super sweet when he said "we'll have to go there sometime," except I read it wrong and he really said "we'll all have to go there sometime" meaning me and the other people he knows from school. Doh! I bet I won't hear from him for another six months.

I still haven't heard back from C and M about meeting this weekend. Weird. I was telling my sister, I have this weird feeling that M is preggers. She's mentioned a couple times wanting to talk to me in person. She also wanted to meet up with me over Easter weekend, but I had my nephew's birthday party and I had to work, so I honestly couldn't meet her. I mean, I would be totally happy for her if she was pregnant, but at the same time, this is exactly what I've been trying to explain to them. It's only going to push us further away. I have a friend from high school who has a baby and I feel like we are worlds apart now. Whenever we see each other, we always end up talking about the baby. It's like, who are we anymore? Do we keep in touch just because we've known each other so long? For this friend, I know it's because, for some reason, she asked me to be the godmother, which is completely weird considering I'm an atheist, but I digress.

I keep talking about having friends with which I can identify, but now I feel like I'm only fooling myself because, really, the only people I can identify with are bloggers that I don't really know at all. And the only reason I found them is because of the anonymity of blogging and the internet. How are you supposed to find these people in real life? I try to not mention anything about my personal life, or lack thereof, at work simply to avoid being asked questions or have to talk about relationships. Although, I did tell my boss and coworker about T, that was a mistake, since it only made me look like a loser. It's weird. People's love and relationship history is so apparent when you open up that door. Like, I know my coworker C only had one boyfriend before her husband. His name was Fabrizio and every relationship story involves him. Whereas my boss has talked about several different boyfriends from high school all the way up to before she met her husband. I wonder what they must think of me.

BTW: After my online dating subscription ran out, I joined a free dating site....why do I do this to myself? WHYYYYYY?